This post has been two years in the making. It has been a tremendous challenge to gather the words to confront this topic: What happens when you find hate in your history?
In 2022 and 2024, summer interns encountered anti LGBTQ+ bigotry while researching Black churches in Central Iowa. It was hard to know what to say. It is difficult to understand, let alone explain why historically excluded groups perpetuate bigotry against each other. The “why” and “how” are deeply nuanced and I am choosing not to take that deep dive right now. While we can’t change the past, we can take action in the present to influence a more tolerant and inclusive future.
Set Limits: While you can’t control what others say and do, you can let them know that you won’t tolerate it. Then, follow up.
Example: “Don’t repeat racist or homophobic jokes or slurs in my presence, otherwise we can’t hang out anymore.”
Be An Active Bystander: The bystander effect is a phenomenon in which the greater the number of people there are present, the less likely people are to help a person in distress. The phenomenon entered public discourse in 1964, when Kitty Genovese was sexually assaulted and stabbed to death on her way home from her bartending job in New York City. In the weeks after the murder, the New York Times (now erroneously) reported that 38 neighbors heard the attack and nobody intervened or called the police. Now we know that a few neighbors attempted to call the police but were unable to get through. How does this happen? There are a variety of reasons why people are afraid to step up in a group setting. Some people don’t act because they assume somebody else will. Some people don’t feel safe, or maybe they don’t want to be dragged into a prolonged “thing.” Whatever the reason, it is important to take a stand and remember the words of Holocaust survivor Elie Wiesel, “We must take sides. Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim. Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented.”
As we head into the next four years with a new administration, it will be as important as ever to take care of eachother.
“If you can’t be brave, be kind.” Sarah Kendzior
Thank you for this important reminder.